Category: dementia

Flowers and Weeds

Monday was not a great day. I had taken my father to meet with his brother. It was great to see my uncle and my cousin. While my father was so happy to see his brother, I was struck by my father’s struggle to… Continue Reading “Flowers and Weeds”

Looking Ahead

Below is one of the first pieces I wrote about my mother’s dementia. At the time, I had no idea that we would only have her for another five or so years. Today’s prompt is “Where will you be in 5 years.” Please excuse… Continue Reading “Looking Ahead”

Goals, objectives, strategies, outputs, and outcomes

~~ ONLY ONE GOAL ~~ The other night at dinner one of my children was talking about his goals. My daughter-in-law asked, “Are you talking about goals, objectives, strategies, outputs, or outcomes? They’re all different, you know.” I messaged her this morning to ask… Continue Reading “Goals, objectives, strategies, outputs, and outcomes”

Interruptions and Alterations

I usually misquote Henri Nouwen’s and say, “My interruptions are my work,” when someone asks me my favorite quote. Here’s the real quote in context: A few years ago I met an old professor at the University of Notre Dame, Looking back on his… Continue Reading “Interruptions and Alterations”

Vodka and Ho-hos

Last week I attended a dementia care conference with Helen. The conference was informative, but quite honestly, for me, the day was more about spending time with my daughter than about going to a conference. Helen is excited about pursuing something in nursing that… Continue Reading “Vodka and Ho-hos”


That little pat on the back that I was giving myself was premature. Way premature. I had gone to the gym this morning to work out. I love working out. Love it, love it, love it. I wish I could get there every day.… Continue Reading “Premature”

J is for Jumble

My father was always an orderly man. His ties were hung neatly on tie racks in his closet, his business affairs neatly filed in folders, his expenses written in neat columns in ledgers. His photographs are labeled, his stamp and coin collections catalogued. One… Continue Reading “J is for Jumble”

God Bless the Moon

Every morning I go downstairs and sigh when I see the tray table beside my father’s chair. It’s a mess. I tidy it — but I know my organization will erode to disorder by evening. The problem these days is that he has taken… Continue Reading “God Bless the Moon”

Old Photographs

One of my kids told me, “I pulled some pictures out of the garbage by Grampa’s chair yesterday.” “What?!” I said. I knew my father had been going through old photographs. It’s something he enjoys. He’ll sit there for hours sifting through and resifting.… Continue Reading “Old Photographs”

It’s like I never made a sound

I was scribbling times and notes to myself on my meet program when I heard two boys talking behind me. Despite the loudness of the pool area — the splash of water, coaches yelling, parents cheering — their conversation caught my attention. “You know,… Continue Reading “It’s like I never made a sound”