Tag: aging parents

Blessed Are Those Who Grieve

It has been three and a half years since my mother passed away. A few weeks ago my father wanted to visit my mother’s grave. In the first year after she passed, I had tried several times to get him to go. His way… Continue Reading “Blessed Are Those Who Grieve”

Blessed are the Devoted

Blessed are the devoted, the dedicated, the dependable, the ones who, driven by love, have the daily dogged determination to show up. The seeds sown and tended by their actions will bear much fruit. My father was a model of devotion. Twice a day,… Continue Reading “Blessed are the Devoted”

New Memory

This morning I received a notification — “You have a new memory.” I laugh at those notifications. They seem so silly. New memories — pshaw. Memories are, by their very nature, sort of oldish. This morning, though, I paused to look at my “new”… Continue Reading “New Memory”

Laughter IS Good Medicine

Last week, when the EMTs arrived at the house, one asked my father, “How do you feel?” “With my hands,” he replied. The EMT didn’t get it. I don’t think he expected an 80-something man who had just had three syncopal episodes to be… Continue Reading “Laughter IS Good Medicine”

Birthday post

Today is my birthday. 5 years ago on this day I was at Laity Lodge, enjoying the warm Texas sun, the beautiful Frio River, and one of my favorite places in the world, an art installation called Threshold. Since Laity Lodge has no cell… Continue Reading “Birthday post”

Update on Dad

I realize that I sidestep the issue all the time, dancing around, skirting the elephant in the room. It’s far easier to talk about the brindle boxer that is about to be euthanized than it is to talk about my father. “How’s your father… Continue Reading “Update on Dad”

The Lucky One

I was sitting at the train station in Charleston, South Carolina. The evening was a balmy 60-something — balmy in comparison with the 30-something I left behind in New York that morning. The station was clean, well-lit, and sparsely populated. I sat on a… Continue Reading “The Lucky One”

Encourager or Discourager

Last week, I sat at the timing table in my effort to learn how to run the computer for swim meets. The woman on my right was the embodiment of sugar-and-spice-and-everything-nice. She was genuine, kind, enthusiastic, and, like me, new and a little overwhelmed… Continue Reading “Encourager or Discourager”

2:30 AM

“I’m not doing this on purpose, you know,” my father says to me. It’s 2:30 AM. I’m pointing at his clock, the new one we got that tells the time and the time of day. Above the 2:30 AM the word “PREDAWN” appears. My… Continue Reading “2:30 AM”

Guilty

When I first laid eyes on Joseph Zupnik three and a half years ago, he was late for the Family Council meeting at my mother’s nursing home, Focus Otsego. “LATE!” I jotted into my little notebook. Not a good first impression. He walked in… Continue Reading “Guilty”