Category: Life

Life

Having the flu is like…

Sally4 Comments

Quick search of the internet using the words “having the flu is like”. Here are five things:

  1. Having the flu is like having a really bad cold. Um, no, it really isn’t. That’s like saying that apple pie and Boston cream pie are the same because they’re both pies and have a crust. If you’ve had both, you know the difference.
  2. Having the flu is like heartbreak. No one loves you. No one wants to be around you. You’re shunned. (Mai Abdo, Washington Post) Actually, I have felt very loved through this. People call and text. They bring me soup. They check in.
  3. Having the flu is like being in jail. A couple of the similarities noted: taken away from your job, solitary confinement, and dreaming of good food. (https://my1053wjlt.com/6-ways-having-the-flu-is-like-being-in-jail/)
  4. Having the flu is like going through the same day over and over. “I have a terrible night’s sleep. I am exhausted in the morning. I take an afternoon nap. I wake up in the evening to just exist, dreading my impending night of terrible sleep. At 2am I check my temperature. Fever. I take two ibuprofen and put a cool rag on my head. I toss and turn in bed. I move up the couch. I wake up at 4am. I go back to my bed. Somehow I sleep through the rest of the night. I wake up the next day to do it all over again.” Yup, this. (found on Reddit)
  5.  Having the flu is like having a license to kill, or at least a license to incapacitate. Find your worst enemy — hell, anybody — and ask to borrow a pencil, use his phone or to become blood brothers. It’s all good, just remember: transmission of fluids is best. Use your imagination. Or a needle if you’ve got one. (from The Daily Free Press: The Good, the Bad and the Snotty of Getting the Flu)

This is my submission for One-Liner Wednesday. Okay, I know, it’s more than one line. If you’re a hard core One Liner Wednesday person, stop after the first one.

gratitude · Life

TToT — February 8

Sally7 Comments

On Wednesday, I was feeling off.

On Thursday, I was not feeling well at all.

I emailed in sick to work. Despite sleeping all morning, I continued to feel worse and worse so I went to a walk-in clinic. I am 110% thankful for 1walk-in clinics. Yes, they are largely staffed by PAs and NPs — but, seriously, you don’t need four years of college followed by four years of medical school followed by four or more years of residency to be able to do a throat swab or a nasal swab (I had both) to diagnose common illnesses. Anyway, as it turns out, I have Influenza A. Joy, joy. (And, no, I did not get my flu shot.)

I hate being sick. I don’t have time for this nonsense.

Here are my sick thankfuls:

2Nadene and Marissa — who finished up my work at the church for me. They stapled and folded all the bulletins, which I had no energy to do.

3Shetland Season 9 — I binge-watched, sort of. I could listen to Scottish accents all day. I may need to go back and watch the show again, though. I kept falling asleep. There were a LOT of twists and turns — and my flu-infected brain struggled to follow the story line. Still — Scottish accents, beautiful scenery. I’m thankful.

4Songberd’s Grove — I’ll have to look back to see who recommended this book, but it has been delightful! Published in 1957, written by Anne Barrett, set in London, it’s a wonderful children’s book that is just what the doctor ordered.

5Friends and family who check on me. People have been so kind. My brother checks in twice a day — “Do you need anything?” A friend offered homemade soup. Another dropped off some food. I am grateful for them all.

6Sleep — I have slept SO MUCH over the past few days. It’s kind of an amazing thing that our body uses to heal. I rarely give myself enough time for it.

7Tea with honey. I am a coffee drinker through and through, but coffee hasn’t really tasted good. Tea, on the other hand, is soothing and I’m glad that I have some here.

I learned what a 8pilchard is. If I had guessed, I wouldn’t have even been close. It turns out they are FISH, like sardines. I can still picture my mother opening a can of sardines with that little key. She would lay those little fish neatly on a piece of bread and squeeze a little lemon on them. They were way too fishy for me. I love learning new words, but I’m not sure how often I will use the word “pilchard.”

I also love learning new phrases and came across 9“Not by a long chalk.” I had only ever heard “not by a long shot” — probably a military term. I looked up the chalk version and it turns that it’s a pub term. I found this on the web:

…the expression almost certainly comes from the habit of using chalk in such establishments to mark the score in a game, a habit which now survives in British pubs mainly in the game of darts. A chalk was the name given a single mark or score, so that a person might explain that somebody or other had lost a game of skittles by four chalks or you needed 31 chalks to finish. If your opponent had a long chalk, a big score, he was doing well.

The expression indicates a determined intention to continue, though the game is going against you. Your opponent may have a long chalk, but you’re not done for yet.

worldwidewords.org

I’m also grateful for this poem: 10“Small Kindnesses” by Danusha Laméris. Please check it out. It’s full of the small kindnesses we experience every day, and half the time we don’t even notice. I read it for the first time this week and I keep going back to it. I want to remember them. I want to see them.

Life · poetry

Some things on my “to-do list” that never gets done

Sally6 Comments

Some things on my “to-do list” that never get done
Sleep all night
Lose 10 pounds
Go out for a run

Other stuff on my “to-do list” that I keep passing by
Clean the house
Clean out the barn
Weed the garden — beautify!

What I want on my to-do list instead of all that stuff
Daydream
Moodle
Sketch
or doodle
Make some art with pasta noodles
Play the flute
Or trombone
Spend two weeks without my phone
Call old friends
To just say “Hi!
I’m thinking of you! Okay, bye!”

To-do lists are a tool, that’s all
Whether long or whether small
Crossing items off feels good
Instead of focusing on “should”

The title of this post was a prompt that showed up in Jetpack.

gratitude · Life

TToT – February 1

Sally8 Comments

I’ve woven my Ten Things of Thankful into a recap of my week.

This week I’ve been 1Riding the Robbie Burns wave. The event last week was such a rousing success that I’ve had people all week stopping in to say thanks and to offer suggestions for next year. “Next year let’s have scones, too.” “Next year, let’s put out some Robert Burns poems in case other people want to read one.” “Next year, I want to be sure to invite so-and-so.” For me, that response has been a continual encouragement.

This week we had a presentation from the 2New York State Police K9 training facility just outside our town. It was fascinating. The dog he brought with him was a Belgian Malinois. I was surprised at the size (small) and the energy level (huge).

On Wednesday, I had a rough appointment regarding a difficult thing I’m working through. As chance would have it, that same day I had an appointment with 3Rachel, my counselor. I know I’ve mentioned her before, but I can’t say enough about having someone safe and wise to talk things through with.

I also had a local friend reach out to me — 4Jan — which meant a lot. Very grateful for her.

My hip has been bothering me more and more. I don’t really like this aspect of growing old. However, 5swimming can hold the pain at bay a little bit, and I made it in the pool three times this week. Also I finally, reached out to an 6orthopedic surgeon to discuss what comes next. That appointment isn’t until March — but still, I made the appointment which is something I’ve been procrastinating. I’m thankful for both of those things.

Today, however, after I swam, I went back to my locker and my 7necklace wasn’t there. This necklace is so special to me. I wear it ALL the time. It has three discs: one with a tree to symbolize family and the other two have my children’s name along the edge. I am incredibly thankful that it was at home. I must have taken it off there before heading to the pool.

Our town’s 8Winter Carnival is this weekend. I went on a trip down Memory Lane with some photographs, trying to remember what year was MY first winter carnival. I think these are from 1968. They had the snow sculptures right on Main Street! I’m not even sure they do them anymore.

Stewart, Peter, and Sally
Sally (off to the left) and Stewart

This weekend is also the opening of the Quilt Show at the local art association. My youngest brother has taken up quilting, so someone asked if he had any quilts in the show. I don’t think he does, but I have one on my bed that I absolutely love. He gave 9this quilt to me this fall, telling me that the colors are Mom’s colors (true) but that it made him think of me. I LOVE my quilt.

To give you a sense of the colors

Today I received 10my Rabbit Room mug in the mail. Since my father died, I’ve been less involved with this organization, but I am still so thankful for the work they do and the encouragement they have been to me. Plus I always drink my coffee from a Rabbit Room mug. I have quite a collection of them.

Life

Courage

Sally4 Comments

I just started reading Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s book Night Flight. I kind of love his definition of courage in the forward.

It’s a concoction of feelings that are not so very admirable. A touch of anger, a spice of vanity, a lot of obstinacy, and a tawdry ‘sporting’ thrill.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

My sister recently said to me, “I’ve always admired your courage.” Did she mean my touch of anger, spice of vanity, and my obstinacy? I’ve always thought of what I do as not courage, but jumping into things with both feet without weighing all the consequences. I think that may qualify as foolishness.

But just to get YOU thinking, here are a few more thoughts on courage, bravery, and cowardice:

Courage is knowing when not to fear.

Plato — or maybe Aristotle

Courage is grace under pressure.

Ernest Hemingway

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.

J. K. Rowling

Brave men hide their deeds as decent folk their alms. They disguise them or make excuses for them.

Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant (quoted in the forward to Night Flight)

To see the right and not to do it is cowardice.

Confucius

Happy are those who dare courageously to defend what they love.

Ovid

How about you? What are your thoughts on courage?

family · Grief · Life

An Essay about a House

Sally5 Comments

I know, I know — there is a world of difference between HOUSE and HOME, but this house is almost a friend. I’ve known this house since I was 7 years old when my father pulled in the dirt driveway declaring it our new home.

Oh, there were out-buildings: the chicken coop, the spring house (not really much of a building), the hop barn, the milk house, the stable, the middle barn, and the 3rd barn. I could probably write essays about each building, but today I will focus on the house.

It was already over 100 years old when we moved in. It had one closet — a chimney closet in my parents room. My room was a real room (with a cardboard closet), my youngest brother’s room was a former walk-in linen closet, my oldest brother and middle brother each had smallish rooms, and my sister’s room was hallway that my father walled off.

Of course, I could have this all wrong. I was, after all, only 7 years old at the time, and my main focus was my room, in the front north corner of the house. As I mentioned, it had a cardboard closet, a dresser, a bookshelf and a double bed — yes, a DOUBLE BED for lil’ol me. I could hear the mice in the walls while I fell asleep at night, scritch-scratching so close to my head that it almost felt as if they were in the same room.

My middle brother had a door into the attic in his room. It was a small door that’s still there, although now it leads to nothing. (I suppose that now makes it a magical door to another world, right?) Then, it led into an attic space which still had a few things in it, one of them being a trunk with clothes in it. Old clothes. Fancy clothes. We played and played dress-up with those clothes — dressing up in them, and then standing by the road and waving at passing cars. I’m sure some of those drivers did a double-take at the 10 year old boy wearing a long dress waving at them.

Such memories.

The kitchen was blue, the color of watery mouthwash. We could see the pipes in the ceiling leading to… the bathroom? It must be. I don’t remember. My excuse is still 7.

Anyhoo, my parents put in a dropped ceiling in the kitchen. It gave the mice another place to run. My mother loved wallpaper and chose a 70’s-ish green floral paper that is still there.

Their china closet went into the dining room, where it rattled if we ran past. It still rattles.

The room directly below my bedroom was called The Study. It was where my parents played bridge with their friends. The heat to my room was a single vent from the study up. On bridge nights, I heard every conversation through that vent. Also, when I was trying to fall asleep, the mice in the walls were drowned out by the sound of laughter when someone playing bridge told a funny story. That made me jump more than once!

So many memories!

The cardboard fireplace so we would have a place to hang our stockings:

The upright piano that came with the house:

The summer kitchen off the back:

I could keep going and going — how it was, how it is today…

Ah, how it is today.

I live here alone now. It’s full of stuff and memories. I’m not sure which there is more of.

It’s that much older, too. I mean, I’m no longer 7, and the house is now more like 160 years old.

Of late, I’m realizing that I really can’t take care of it. A few weeks ago, I had to call an electrician because of some issues.

“It needs major work,” he told me. “It’ll be expensive.”

Ugh.

I was the one who took care of our parents in the final years. I believe the grief process is easier for those who have been closest to a person’s demise through aging.

What’s true with people may also be true with houses.

I love this house. I can’t even tell you how much I love this house.

But it’s time to step away.

family · gratitude · Life

TToT — January 18

Sally7 Comments
  1. The Moon — when I left the house a little after 5 AM Wednesday, I had to pause to take a picture of it. The corona, the clouds — all so lovely.

2. A quote from Art and Fear (by David Bayles and Ted Orland) —
“wanting to be understood is a basic need… The risk is fearsome; in making your real work you hand the audience the power to deny the understanding you seek; you hand them the power to say, ‘you’re not like us; you’re weird; you’re crazy.‘”
I have always thought that my biggest fear is failure. The authors are correct though. My biggest fear is not being understood and therefore not fitting in. This is the fear that mean girls target with their posse-mentality — and I’ve learned that mean girls exist at all ages.

3. Encouraging comments — this ties in with #2. I wrote a poem (Phoenix) which I hesitated to post because it’s …um… different. Okay, okay — it’s weird. It starts off with the word “phlying” and has some homophones thrown in. Also a backwards spelling of the word Phoenix which made sense to me as the Phoenix rising from the ashes. Well, the post sat there with no comment on the oddities. How polite, I thought. What a bomb, I thought. Until a little flurry of comments on phlying. So I’m thankful for Leslie Scoble, D. Avery, Sarah David, and crazy4yarn2. You encourage me.

4. A $5 tip — For the record, we don’t take tips at work other than workout tips because we’re a fitness facility. Yesterday, I helped a man with his membership. When we were done, he pulled out his wallet and put a five dollar bill on my desk.
“I can’t take that,” I said.
“I’m not taking it back,” he said.
We were at a stalemate. He told me a long story about how he likes to help people.
“Use that to help somebody else,” he said. “It’s five bucks. I’m not going to miss it and I’m not taking it back.”
Reluctantly, I put it in my drawer. Now I have to come up with a way to help somebody with five dollars — a fun challenge.

5. A new friend — I got together last night with a woman I met at a Christmas party. She is only in town occasionally, but when we first met, we had so much in common. Two introverted moms in the midst of changes in their lives. I’m glad it worked out that we could meet and talk again.

6. An old friend — I ran into one of my oldest friends (as in years I’ve known her) that I hadn’t seen in a long time. Thirty-five years ago, people used to confuse us for each other — and we have some great stories about that. So so so good to see her.

7. Another unpleasant situation that ended with an apology — Suffice it to say that I needed to speak with a member about an unkind thing she had done. In gathering information about our policies at the facility, another staff member said, “Oh, her. She’s terrible. We may have to kick her out.” Later, I ran into the woman in the hallway. This was our conversation:

Me: You’re just the person I was looking for!
Her: Really? What’s going on? What did I do now?
I recounted the situation to her.
Her: I am so sorry. Sometimes I speak without thinking. I didn’t mean to come across that way.
Me: It’s okay. I just wanted you to know how it DID come across.
Her: I’m really sorry. I will try not to do it again.

Sometimes people just need a chance. I’m willing to give her another one.

8. Fasting — I did a 24 hour fast and it’s amazing how good that feels for the body.

9. A message from my cousin letting me know that her father, my uncle, is “slowing down.” I will plan a trip to see him. I’d much rather get that message and have a chance to visit than what the message could have been.

10. Flowers — a member gave me flowers for my desk as a thank you. I LOVE fresh flowers.