I can’t remember
The sound of my mother’s voice
Fresh grief at this loss
The telephone at my father’s house doesn’t work terribly well, and I want to try a new one, but I don’t want to lose his voice on the answering machine. Is it silly — the things we hold onto?
I really couldn’t remember my mother’s voice this morning, try though I did.
The crappy phone will stay.
I looked through the videos on my computer. Surely I had one with her voice. I found a couple from two years ago when she was in physical therapy. She spoke three words total in six videos. Monosyllabic. “Yes.” “No.” “Missed.” That’s not how I want to remember her.
Towards the end of the video below, where we are singing the blessing over a meal, I can pick out her voice. It’s a good place to end.
“Amen”
Hot Dogs and Marmalade 
My sister-in-law still has my brother’s voice on her answering machine. It’s weird to hear his voice, all this time after he’s gone.
I totally get not wanting to lose the recording, not silly at all. A voice carries so many memories with it. One of my greatest treasures is a recording of my father singing to me as a baby.