Tag: elder care

The Lucky One

I was sitting at the train station in Charleston, South Carolina. The evening was a balmy 60-something — balmy in comparison with the 30-something I left behind in New York that morning. The station was clean, well-lit, and sparsely populated. I sat on a… Continue Reading “The Lucky One”

2:30 AM

“I’m not doing this on purpose, you know,” my father says to me. It’s 2:30 AM. I’m pointing at his clock, the new one we got that tells the time and the time of day. Above the 2:30 AM the word “PREDAWN” appears. My… Continue Reading “2:30 AM”


When I first laid eyes on Joseph Zupnik three and a half years ago, he was late for the Family Council meeting at my mother’s nursing home, Focus Otsego. “LATE!” I jotted into my little notebook. Not a good first impression. He walked in… Continue Reading “Guilty”

Why Norway — part 2

Lest anyone think we’re independently wealthy and that’s how we travel the world, two things: International travel is not much more expensive than travel within the USA. In fact, I honestly think it could be less, depending on the country. Food and lodging can… Continue Reading “Why Norway — part 2”

While I Was Away

I can still see the woman’s face as she said the words to me. She started off saying, “It’s such a good thing you’re doing — keeping your father home.” But then she stopped smiling and looked me in the eye, “You can’t do this… Continue Reading “While I Was Away”

Goals, objectives, strategies, outputs, and outcomes

~~ ONLY ONE GOAL ~~ The other night at dinner one of my children was talking about his goals. My daughter-in-law asked, “Are you talking about goals, objectives, strategies, outputs, or outcomes? They’re all different, you know.” I messaged her this morning to ask… Continue Reading “Goals, objectives, strategies, outputs, and outcomes”

A Privilege

Yesterday I ran into someone at the pool that I hadn’t seen in years — Bridget‘s father. Bridget was on the first team that I coached and I still think back on her fondly. In fact, I had just been telling Laurel about Bridget… Continue Reading “A Privilege”


Laurel said the other day, “We should all learn another language. As a family, you know?” “Why?” I asked. “Well, then if we’re someplace all together and we want to say to something to someone in the family but we don’t really want everyone… Continue Reading “Shouting”


Each member of the surgical team looped through the room.  An introduction. Name and date of birth requested. The why-are-you-here question. My mother didn’t know the answers when I had sat in the same spot with her some years before. I helped. My father… Continue Reading “Surgery”


In the spirit of “Leaning In,” I offered to help my father write some letters. During December I felt trapped, much the way a mother of a toddler feels. I remember being home with small children and wondering what it would be like to… Continue Reading “Trapped”