dreams · Life · Writing

A Pen Dream

Last night I had a dream in which a wild-eyed prophet appeared before me and told me this story:

Once there were two people in a hospital room.

One had drawers full of pens at home. Not the cheap ones that come 12 to a pack for $1.99, and not $200 fancy-schmancy pens, but nice ones, in assorted colors and point thicknesses and types. Her favorites were Pilot G-2 07 — and she owned at least 50 of them, keeping them in every room of her house, and multiples in her carrying bag.

The other worked at a low-paying hospital job. His employer purchased cheapy pens that came 12 to a pack for $1.99. The pens skipped and blurped out ink blobs and were entirely unreliable, so he saved up the loose change he found in the parking lot of the grocery store or on the sidewalks when he was walking home. Finally, he had enough to purchase one Pilot G-2 07.

She hadn’t expected to be in a hospital room that day. She didn’t have her bag. She didn’t have any pens with her. When she was asked to sign some papers, she needed a pen. Almost as if by magic, this Pilot G-2 07 was placed in her hand, and she signed the various papers on the proper lines beside the hastily scrawled red X’s.

When she finished, she looked for the person who had handed her the pen, but everyone was gone from the room. Everyone. The nurses were at the nursing station. The housekeeping person was dry-mopping the floor. The transporter person was pushing the pen-lady’s family member to radiology.

She looked at the pen in her hand. It was a nice one. Blue. Fairly new. Shiny.

And she thought, “I could just stick this pen in my pocket, in case I need to sign something else today. Nobody will really miss it. It will go very nicely with the dozens of other pens I have at home.”

When the housekeeping person came into the room looking for the pen, the pen-lady pretended not to notice because she had the pen tucked neatly in her pocket.

“Wait — ” I said — in my dream, of course. “That’s not what happened. I did NOT keep the pen.”

“You thought about it,” the wild-eyed prophet said accusingly, and his wild eyes grew even wilder as he stared at me.

“It was a FLIT,” I said. “The thought flitted through. I never seriously considered keeping the pen.”

“You did. You lusted after that pen,” he said.

How can anyone argue with a wild-eyed prophet in a dream?! I found myself going back to that moment, when I held the pen and didn’t know who the owner was. In the space of a firefly blink, I had thought about keeping it — but then I set it on the stand where the owner could easily find it.

The wild-eyed prophet interrupted my mental replay of the situation. “You have a pen problem,” he said, much more gently now. “You have more pens than a person needs — and you keep purchasing more. You go down the pen aisle at Target, Office Max, even the Family Dollar, and you look at pens. You buy pens. You don’t need any more pens.”

“But… but…” I stammered, “I like pens.”

“Give them away,” he said, his voice growing distant as he seemed to be being sucked into a far-off light. “Commit to sharing your pens…. Carry them in your bag …. and give them away.”

Then, he was gone.

I woke up in a cold sweat.

What does it all mean, I wondered?


This post was originally written in June 2017. I even posted it because it has two comments from that time — both from siblings! I’m insecure enough about my writing, though, that I moved it back to the draft folder, probably within 24 hours.

Today’s Word of the Day prompt is Parking Lot. This post came up in the draft folder. When I read it, it made me laugh — in part because I DO have dreams like that, and in part because I still have a pen problem.

A to Z Blogging Challenge · dreams · family

2018 Blogging from A to Z: About My Dad

Tomorrow the A to Z Blogging Challenge starts. I missed the deadline for the Theme Reveal and I’m pretty sure I signed up twice. It makes me wonder how this year’s challenge will go.

Writing has been such a struggle lately. I can’t seem to find a chunk of time to write. Writing, or, for that matter, doing anything “in dribs and drabs,” as my mother used to say, is a challenge. It takes time to get into the right mindset and find the right words. For me, an interruption comes and I’ve been sent back to Monopoly/Writing Jail without collecting $200 or 200 words or anything.

Recently I had this horrible dream:

I was walking in a field with my family — my husband, my children, my siblings, and my father. The field grew swampy, and we were talking about how it hadn’t always been that way and how we planted corn on it in the past. The path was narrow and my father stepped too close to the swamp. As he fell in, the swamp became a deep hole full of water and I jumped in to save him. He was sinking so I swam beneath him to get his head to the surface so he could breathe. As I pushed him up to the surface, I felt myself running out of air. While underwater, I could see some family members sitting to rest, but they hadn’t noticed him falling in. No one was coming to rescue us. I couldn’t call for help because I was underwater. My father couldn’t call for help because he can’t think clearly. I realized that I needed air and I needed to get help, but to do that, I would have to let go of my father. I used all my strength to heave him up and then pushed myself toward the surface for a breath. He slid past me, like dead weight, and I grabbed his hands. Instead of reaching the surface, I went down, down, down into darkness.

Then I woke up. It was an awful dream. I don’t need a Joseph to interpret it, but it served as a warning.

To misquote an African proverb: It takes a family to care for the elderly.

I’m so thankful that I DO have a strong and supportive family. My brothers, my sister, my children, my husband all pitch in.

The other night, when my father fell around midnight, Karl was right there ready to help. He drove us to the hospital and then stayed with my father so I could go home and get a little sleep before I went to work at 5 AM. (My father ended up with stitches in his forehead and staples in his scalp. Everything else seems to be okay.) I know Karl wouldn’t let me drown.

Helen is taking days off from work to stay with my father so Bud and I can get away for a mini-vacation. She did the same thing back in January. She’s not going to let us drown.

And I need to make sure I ask for help BEFORE I’m underwater. (Lifesaving 101)

But back to the A to Z Challenge. I decided to adopt this theme: About My Dad.

Writing about who he was will help me with who he is.

Plus, he’s one of my favorite people in the whole world. I think you’ll like him, too.

Dad and Jim, summer 1968

I just have to make sure I carve out those chunks of time for writing.