Life Can Be Hard

Hiding in my room, back pressed against the door
Don’t come in, I whispered, while outside he swore
Barely could I breathe — in fact I held my breath
This ghutan was a feeling that felt worse than death

Now I live alone, the chaos pushed outside
With qaraar peace inside me, I am fortified
I can face tomorrow and tomorrow and again
Home now is a sanctuary, quietness within

And yet the ache of failure lingers in my heart
Did I do enough? Where did it fall apart?
Nobody will know all the secrets that I hold
But kasak gently holds my breath, as I breathe uncontrolled

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This week’s W3 prompt from PoW Destiny:

Some words hold a whole experience within them. This week, use one or more of these Urdu words to tell a story through poetry:

• Kasak (کسک)
  Pronunciation: “kuh-suk” · IPA: /kə.sək/
  A lingering ache—something that stays with you long after a moment has passed.
• Qaraar (قرار)
  Pronunciation: “kuh-RAAR” · IPA: /qə.ɾɑːɾ/
  A quiet sense of peace—something that steadies you and helps you feel settled.
• Ghuttan (گھٹن)
  Pronunciation: “ghoot-un” · IPA: /ɡʱʊ.ʈən/
  An unspoken feeling of suffocation—as though something inside you has no room to breathe.

Poetry form: Your choice, in 12 lines or fewer.