
She ran as if her life depended on it.
In fact, she thought it did.
She couldn’t put her finger on any answers to all her whys. Why did he scare her? Why did he approach her to begin with? Why did he follow her when she veered away from him? Why did he quicken his step when she quickened hers?
Now she was running. Cutting through alleys, slipping through hedges, afraid to look over her shoulder in case he was still there.
She paused as she emerged from yet another alley. She could no longer hear him, but she was thoroughly lost. It looked like Uncle David’s neighborhood, but all the houses looked so much the same.
What was that rhyme he used to tell her?
If ever you’re lost in Uncle-David-land
Keep your eyes open for the Eyeball Band
She had been so little when he made her memorize those silly words and showed her the secret door on the side of the garage.
Now she was, indeed, lost in Uncle-David-land. She stared around the street trying to decide where to go when she saw the scary man again. She ran in the opposite direction and ducked down another alley.
When she emerged, she spotted the Eyeball Band painted on the garage door. She ran straight to it and found the secret door.
Inside the garage stood Uncle David and her dad. They seemed to be waiting for her.
“Told you she was ready,” said Uncle David.
This is my response to this week’s Unicorn Challenge. It’s a simple challenge every week: no more than 250 words based on the photo prompt.
Is that a strange photo or what?
But, being someone who navigates using landmarks, I could SO picture someone using that door as the landmark where you should turn or stop or something.
What’s the meaning of my story? I have no idea.
Intriguing. Sounds like the launch pad for something longer. I’ll keep an eye out for it. ๐
Hmm — I’ll have to think about what the next 250 words would be! Part of what I love about the Unicorn Challenge is that 250 words practically writes itself. To get to 500 or more, I might have to put some thought into the direction!
Go for it.
You build up the tension so well, Sally, with unknown pursuer, and the rhyme has exactly the delightful sounds that a child will not forget.
I breathed a sigh of relief when she found the door – which opened onto another mystery.
Layer upon layer.
What does it all.mean? Do we need to know? Isn’t the mystery enough?
Very satisfying and beautifully built up.
Thanks, Jenne. Actually I am a big fan of the mystery being enough.
Love this tense, carefully built tale, Sally, with a great wide-open denouement.
I take this as a HUGE compliment from someone who is the master of the tense, carefully built tale!
Thank goodness she found that weird eyeball door in time!
Seriously. Can’t imagine what would have happened if she hadn’t!
Was it all a test? Was the pursuer someone her father and uncle knew? Put up to follow her?? A nice opening for a definitely dystopian tale!
I don’t know the answers to any of your questions! I wish I did — haha — then I could write that dystopian story!
Intriguing story Sally
Aaaaaaaaaaah! I want to know what she’s ready for, who was chasing her, and what happens next! Awesome tale, Sally! ๐
Hahaha โ I love your reaction!
You certainly racked up the tension. I’m not sure if that’s a happy ending or an ominous one!
Honestly? Iโm not sure either!