Exhilirating is the word I’d use
Walking on the beam to reach the loft
Yes, barefoot! I had no use for shoes
Down below, I knew the hay was soft
Walking on the beam to reach the loft
Having climbed up, up, up in that old barn
Down below, I knew the hay was soft
My brother grabbed my arm as if to warn
Having climbed up, up, up in that old barn
What we were about to do seemed unsure
My brother grabbed my arm as if to warn
But we both felt the danger was the allure
What we were about to do seemed unsure
The warm and musty hay beckoned below
But we both felt the danger was the allure
The pigeons cooed, outside I heard a crow
The warm and musty hay beckoned below
Would we do it? Would we take that leap
The pigeons cooed, outside I heard a crow
Our knees shook, we took a breath quite deep
Would we do it? Would we take that leap?
A silent prayer, a silenter amen
Our knees shook, we took a breath quite deep
And once done, we’d do it all again
A silent prayer, a silenter amen
Exhilirating is the word I’d use
And once done, we’d do it all again
Yes, barefoot! I had no use for shoes
This is my response to the W3 challenge this week: write a pantoum about a childhood memory. A pantoum is made up of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. At the end, you loop and grab those A lines again.
When I was 7 years old, my parents bought a non-working farm with 100 acres and 4 barns to explore. It was idyllic — truly. One of the things my brother and I did was climb up into a hayloft in one of the barns and jump down into the pile of hay below. So scary. So much fun.
Hot Dogs and Marmalade 
Oh, I just love this! You did a great job bringing this beautiful memory to life for us.
What lucky little kids you and your brother were to have all that space to play and learn. Sounds like a dream! 😌
It’s so true! We did everything from catching frogs in the pond to picking wild blackberries on the hill. Very lucky indeed.
Sally, I love how the repetition adds to the sense of anticipation and excitement, echoing the feeling of climbing higher and higher in the old barn! Great job!
Much love,
David
You’re right, David. I had tried writing another memory first, but this one seemed to lend itself to repeated lines of the pantoum. Thanks for commenting!
hi, Sally 👋🏻
This week’s W3, hosted by the lovely Jane Aguiar, is now live:
Enjoy!
❤
David
Sally I absolutely adore this one. It drew me in with each phrase and the tension builds all the time wondering what is going to happen. Then the relief at the end. Exhilarating is the right word you exhilarate the reader. Brilliant
Aw, thank you so much! It happened around 55 years ago and I still can feel the heart palpitations BEFORE the leap and that lets-do-it-again feeling as soon as we hit the hay (literally)
Childhood is full of such daring and conflicted flights. I was right there with you. (K)
Thank you! I’m so glad the poem worked!
I loved this! The pigeon and the crow added to the ambiance of the poem, like they were giving a subtle warning.
The pigeons were always just strutting their stuff up near the roof and the crows cawing outside. It’s so clear in my mind. Thanks for your kind words.
You’re most welcome.
“Yes, barefoot! I had no use for shoes”
Ahh, the carefree freedom of childhood is so beautifully expressed here. I love the pigeons and the crow adding to the beautiful atmosphere. Your poem is an absolute delight. 💛
Thank you, Lesley!
💖
I love that snapshot of a carefree childhood. Beautifully written, Sally! 💞💞💞
I grew up around farms.