That Time I Got Bored Writing an Epic Tale/Poem

You wish to wed my daughter, lad?
You’re not the first to ask!
I challenge you to prove your worth
By performing one small task —

’Tis straightforward but quite hard
(She’s my most precious bairn)
To win her you must bring to me
The red bird of Raigmore Cairn

The wee red bird, with magic song,
And feathers ruby red
Elusive as the unicorn
And more powerful, it’s said.

So I set off on this my quest
To far-off Raigmore Cairn
I battled dragons, dodged wizard’s spells,
My true love’s hand to earn

I rescued maidens trapped in towers
Hunted mighty stags
And on my journey shared my wealth
With beggars dressed in rags.

At Raigmore Cairn, I searched and searched
But could not find the bird
My spirit low, I knelt and wept
When suddenly I heard
The sweetest song that filled my soul
’twas Raigmore Cairn’s wee bird

By now, you’re getting bored, I’m sure
With this drivel-twaddle-tale
Let me skip up to the point
At which I finally fail

I caught the bird, I rode back home 
Fought dragons along the way
Rescued maidens, hunted stags
Blah-blah blah-blah blay

My true love’s castle rose into view
The red bird sang a hymn!
Until I saw the water there —
Alas! I cannot swim!

There are many things that I would do
To win my true love’s hand
But there’s just one contingency
I must stay dry on land!

---

Actually, this is a close up a mosaic mural I saw in Virginia.

---

Do I really need to tell you that there is no wee red bird of Raigmore Cairn? I mean, there really is a place called Raigmore Cairn. Here’s a pic:

But I’ve never been there and know nothing about it.

All I could think when I saw that picture was about a knight who overcame all sorts of challenges on a quest but then couldn’t cross the final water obstacle.

#whatdoyousee