I looked out and saw a fawn
On the lawn fleeing the road
Toothpick legs receiving weight
Then airborne! Smol greatness flowed
This is a Welsh poetic form: Awdl Gywydd. I liked it because it called for internal rhymes — but, good golly, it was hard! I have to say that I’m not happy with the poem, but I tried.
For the We’ave (W3) challenge, we were to “Write about the first wild creature that you see which inspires you on the day you write your poem.” #30DaysWild
Yesterday, I set out to watch for a wild creature. Almost daily, I see deer on my way to work — but, of course, this was not one of those days. It was rainy-ish, so everyone was staying in, I guess — even the squirrels!
After work, as usual, I fell asleep in the chair in the living room. The trials and tribulations of being old, you know. Suddenly, I was awakened by my daughter in the neighboring chair crying out, “Oh! Oh! Oh!”
I jumped up to see what she was looking at and barely caught a glimpse of a tiny fawn racing across the lawn. Where its mama was, I have no idea.
But I can still see those spindly little legs stretching forward, catching the body weight, and then stretching out again as the rear legs caught up. In the midst of each cycle, that little body was airborne.
Sidenote on the word “smol” — one of my kids uses this, and I thought it was just a misspelling. It turns out that it’s a word — it is internet slang for cutesy smallness, like puppies and kittens and, for my sake, fawns.
I applaud your selection of form! I struggle with internal rhyme and think you very brave to tackle it. Love the description of the fawn – lovely!!
Sally, I think the poem is lovely, first of all, but -also- if you end up doing more in this form, I think you’ll find that your future Awdl Gywydds will flow more in your mind. That’s what’s happened to me with a few different forms – I just start to “feel” them more and more as I employ them.
Much love,
David
For the A-to-Z Challenge this year, I wrote a limerick for each letter of the alphabet. They were all kitschy and went with collages that I made. But halfway through the month I was, indeed, thinking in limericks. Sad, but true.
I think I would rather think (and feel) in Awdl Gywydds. They are both simple and complex.
As always, thanks for your encouragement.
🤗
Sally,
This week’s W3 prompt, which is hosted by the amazing A. J. Wilson, is now live:
Enjoy ❤
Much love,
David
I like it very much.
Thank you!
You’re welcome. I like the different words you’ve used to create an internal rhyme
lovely
A one-word answer?! I at least expected a little internal rhyme. 🙂
Like a dream–you caught that feeling. (K)
What a compliment! Thank you so much!
Good poem.
On those rare occasions I have a bad night, I tend to sleep early the following night.
doe
oh dear
why isnt the stag hanging here????
Hahahaha — this is perfect
I love it Sally, especially the ‘Toothpick legs’ 🙌
Fun form! I agree that internal rhymes are tricky.
This poem is no smol thing. 😁 I’ve never heard of this form before. Thank you for introducing it to me (and the smol word). Your four lines express that special moment when you saw the fawn. I love it. Thank you Sally 🦌💗