Dan and Phil (or is it Phil and Dan?)

I vaguely remember several months ago Mary telling me about this thing. It was some YouTube people or something.  But it was in Schenectady.

“Go ahead and get some tickets,” I told her, “and we’ll figure it out when it gets closer.”

It got closer.

And closer.

I forgot all about it.

About a week before, Mary said, “Remember that thing?”

I didn’t.

She reminded me.

“I don’t know how we can do it,” I said. “Could you try to sell the tickets?”

The morning of she came to me with the saddest of sad faces. Don’t misunderstand — she didn’t beg. I could see that this was important to her so I came up with a plan. It turns out we’ll-figure-it-out-when-it-gets-closer means that I drive her.

“What is this thing we’re going to?” I asked while driving that night. Mary tried to explain, but I am NOT of the YouTube generation. I don’t understand it. At all.

We arrived in Schenectady, parked the car, and Mary said, “I think we should just follow all the teenage girls.”

So we did.

Truthfully, I still don’t know what it was I went to. Screaming girls? Two guys on stage? The closest analogy I could come up with is Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In.

I feel asleep during the show. At one point I think they showed a picture of the most disinterested parent, and I was surprised that it wasn’t a picture of me.

But I tried.

And I rewrote “The Things We Do For Love” in honor of that night.

“Hey, Mom, remember when I bought a couple tickets
To hear some YouTube guys putting on a show?
You said that I could go, so I bought two.”
(The things we do for love, the things we do for love)

“Hey, Mom, I need someone to drive me to the show now.
Remember? YouTube guys? Their names are Dan and Phil.”
I looked at Mary’s face and knew this was
A thing I’d do for love (the things we do for love)

Like driving to a show, when you know
It’s a long way to go
And your eyes are drooping ‘cause you’re pretty tired
But you love the teenage girl that’s by your side
At the Proctor girls are squealing
And I get a sinking feeling

Whooo are Phil and Da-an?
How do I stay awake?
Ooh — I’m feeling groggy. Must not doze.

Like driving to a show, when you know
It’s a long way to go
And your eyes are drooping ‘cause you’re pretty tired
But you love the teenage girl that’s by your side —
At the Proctor girls are squealing
And I get a sinking feeling

Ooh — I love my daughter
Ooh — but Dan and Phil?
Ooh — I couldn’t tell you which was which

And so I fell asleep while Dan and Phil were on-stage.
I saw the paint balls and the guy strapped to the wheel,
But I can’t tell you much about the show –
‘twas a thing I did for love (a thing I did for love)

Dan and Phil — photo credit Gage Skidmore, from 2014 VidCon

In case you’re not familiar with the original song —

2 thoughts on “Dan and Phil (or is it Phil and Dan?)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.