Leaving Time-Warner

Well, we did it. We disconnected our cable and transferred our phone and internet to a smaller local provider.

Truth be told, our internet now is better than it was with Time-Warner.

I called last night to switch my email address, which I had been getting as part of the Time-Warner bundle, to a Premium Email account.  I wanted to keep my old email address, plain and simple.

A week ago I participated in a Customer Service chat to find out how it was done and then I saved the text of the chat.  Here’s the important part:

Martin Williams: Please call Customer Service on phone and with a representative who will process your request to change your service to Premium Mail.

Martin Williams: When the automated attendant answers simple say “I want to cancel my service”.

Martin Williams: When you reach the representative, tell him that you wish to change your service to Premium Mail plan.

I followed Martin’s instructions to the word.  I said “I want to cancel my service” multiple times, but it seemed to be a hard thing for the automated attendant to understand.  Finally, I was connected with a representative.

He asked my reason for leaving.

“It costs too much,” I told him.

“Oh, so you cannot afford our services,” he replied.

“No, I can afford your services. I just don’t want to pay that much,” I said.

“I will say that you are leaving because you cannot afford our services,”  he repeated. I think he had a box he wanted to check.

“No. It’s too expensive and I think that Time-Warner is taking over the world,” I told him.

He laughed. “I will say that you cannot afford our services,” he said again.

“You can say that,” I told him, “if it will make you happy, but that’s not why we are leaving. I would just like to switch our account to Premium Mail.”

“I can set you up with dial-up service,” he said,  “for $14.95 a month.”

“I don’t want dial-up service.  We have a different internet provider. I just want Premium Mail.”

“Oh. I see. I see. And what is your reason for leaving?”

“Time-Warner keeps raising our rates. It’s rather ridiculous.”

My husband was waving his hands at me.  “Tell them that their service was terrible, too,” he said, but I didn’t get a chance.

“So you cannot afford our services,” the representative was saying again, like some sort of bad mantra.

“Go ahead and say that. It’s not true, but I want to get set up with Premium Email,” I said.

Sometimes, when Maggie, our dog, is learning a new trick, she runs through all her old tricks hoping one of them will earn her the proffered treat.  I suddenly felt a kinship with her.  The treat I wanted was Premium Email.  I would say he wanted me to say to get that treat.

“So you cannot afford our services?” he asked again.

“Nope. Can you set me up with Premium Email?”

“Yes, I would be happy to assist you with that,” he said.

And he did.