
“Is not!”
“Is, too!”
“No way your grandfather is an alien hunter!” Johnny hissed, his face close to Kevin’s.
“IS, TOO!” Kevin shouted.
The boys stared at each other, then Kevin said, “”I can prove it.”
“How?” scoffed Johnny. “You gonna show me a dead alien.”
“No, even better,” said Kevin, “I can show you his chuffleuffle gun.”
“Now I know you’re lying,” said Johnny. “There’s no such thing as a scuffleumple gun.”
“Yeah — because it’s a chuffle–uffle gun,” Kevin replied. “You don’t even know the right name for it.”
“Fine,” said Johnny. “Show me the gun.” He wasn’t going to attempt that ridiculous name again.
The two boys went to Kevin’s grandfather’s room. They could hear grandfather singing in the kitchen, so they knew it was safe to go in his room. Kevin pointed at the short bell-nosed gun leaning in the corner.
“See?!” He whispered triumphantly.
Johnny rolled his eyes. “It’s just an old gun.”
“No! It’s a chuffleuffle gun. That’s the noise it makes when he shoots it. AND, he only uses it to shoot chuffles.”
Johnny snorted. “What’s a chuffle? An alien?”
“YES!” said Kevin. “From the planet Chuff!”
Grandfather was still singing away, so Kevin took a step closer. “See, here’s grandfather’s hunting hat and glasses. The chuffleuffle gun can hurt your eyes, but it wouldn’t hurt you if I shot you with it. It only hurts chuffles.”
Johnny looked skeptical.
“I’ll show you,” said Kevin, and he reached for the gun.
This partial story brought to you by The Unicorn Challenge.
That darn 250 word is going to be the death of me.
Not a chuffleuffle gun, though, because I’m not a chuffle.
No wonder you ran out of words. Kids can argue all day long about the craziest things. I’d like to hear you read it out loud and see if you can pronounce all those big words. lol
In my first write, I had the “is not, is too” going on much longer. Kids can do THAT for a very long time! π
true
Very interesting story Sally
NOOOO!
Laughing here.
But why the complaint, you produced a hugely enjoyable piece in 250 words!
Thanks for the encouragement! A laugh makes me feel like I succeeded. I feel like I leave too much dangling though, you know?
Ah but no!
The point of the word limit is to keep the writing tight, and to allow the reader to use their imagination.
There’s nothing worse than wasting time reading 400 words of which 100 or more are redundant when the tale can be told succinctly in 250.
You hone your writing skills and the reader doesn’t want to gouge his eyes out through sheer boredom.
This is great advice! Thank you!
Attempting to write fiction is a new venture for me and I feel like I need to put some closure to each tale. You’re saying it’s okay not to, am I right? If the reader is entertained, I’ve succeeded, yes? – whether or not I’ve provided closure
Exactly! You have such a good sense of humour and language, Sally.
Please don’t apologise.
Mind you, I can’t get the word ‘chuffleuffle’ out of my head now! ππ
A really fun and clever story.
Thanks, Jenne! You’re very encouraging!
Chuffleuffle — the sound of a stifled sneeze π€§
Oh, I love how this ENDS.
There, I said it.
You did your part beautifully, Sally ….
delivered a fine and fun piece.
Now it’s up to us to decide where it goes.
It’s all fantasy.
You’ve hit the nail on the head, Nancy. The story ENDS in a most satisfactory way, open for the reader to take forward as – and if – they wish.
This could have turned tragic on a dime;
so relieved Sally ended where she did β intentionally or not.
This is serendipity.
This was a very cute story that skids to what I think is going to be a tragic ending. I don’t like the grandfather who left his gun laying about.
Totally agree! That sort of carelessness can easily end in tragedy.
Fitted the limit perfectly and left us hanging in suspenders to contemplate what happened next. Couldn’t help recalling these lovelies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CzYPYkCVFM
Haha β I wonder if Snuffy was in my subconscious
A lot of flash fiction has to exist in what’s not said. Your ending is just right. Will he or won’t he??? I think I know the answer in this story, but I like a bit of ambiguity at the end.I can relate to your frustration with word limits, but I find them a fantastic discipline, as C.E. said.
This world of Flash Fiction is brand new to me. Your words help me understand it a lot better! I came across the Unicorn Challenge in a search for a prompt. I’ve been so stuck in my writing and typically scroll right past anything labeled Flash Fiction.
I’m not a fiction writer, I tell myself. I write about life. Or I write poetry. Fiction, no.
But this has been such fun. And each week I find myself looking forward to the challenge now.
If you’re having fun with it then that’s a good sign that you should continue pursuing fiction. Prompts like this one are a terrific stimulus for ideas and provide a time frame and a purpose. Fiction, poetry, life writing – why not do it all? π
I think I might just do that!
Well, Sally, I didn’t set out to give advice, just my own views and the reason for the word limit, but it seems that you have a lot of admirers here who pretty much agree with what I said.
I think most of us agree that itβs okay not to nail down an ending, but to be creative and trust your readers.
Personally I enjoy it when I leave an ambiguous ending and others write their own ideas of what happened next; it shows they got involved.
But for short stories, I believe, there are almost no rules, you do what you want.
Except here you do it in 250 words!
Uh oh!