There once was a woman named Quincy
Whose gait I’d describe as mince-y
Pet pig by her side
And heart filled with pride

There once was a friendly porcupine
Who walked around thinking, Life is fine!
’til one dark summer night
He had such a fright

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There once was a piper named Owen
Who on his bagpipes kept blowin’
_…mmmmm… SCREECH skirling wail —
Stirs the heart of the Gael!

There once was a young dad named Noah
Who as he was getting ready to go-ah
Suddenly knew
He had something to do

There once was a girl named Lindo
Who loved to look out her window
But when skunks she espied
Her eyes opened wide

There once was a kitten named Kat
(How very unoriginal is that?)
But she barked like a dog
And hopped like a frog

There once was a woman named Iris
Who caught a computer virus
While dramatically dying
Folks heard her sighing

There once was a girl named Harris
Who dreamed about moving to Paris
“Bonsoir,” she would say
At the start of each day