“I got to be there in the morning,” he sang, “spruced up and lookin’ in me prime.”
He had slept through his alarm and his head was pounding. Splashing water on his face helped a little. Singing helped more. He couldn’t believe that he still remembered the words he had sung fifty years ago on a high school stage.
He put on the starched shirt and the dark pants with their crisp ironed crease up each leg.
As he stood in front of the mirror, humming, he tied his tie. The knot was perfect.
“Pull out the stopper. Let’s have a whopper,” he sang, and eyed the bottle on the sideboard. One glass wouldn’t hurt. It might even help.
He sipped and sang and combed his hair. “Ding dong! the bells are gonna chime!”
He laughed to himself. The drink had helped. He did a little dance-shuffle out the door, singing, “Kick up a rumpus, but don’t lose the compass, and get me to the church, get me to the church, be sure and get me to the church on time!”
When he pulled up in front of the church, he knew he was late. They were just exiting, the pall-bearers carrying the casket down the stairs.
“You god-damned drunk,” his sister hissed. “Couldn’t even be here on time for her funeral.”
This is my submission for the Unicorn Challenge. The challenge has only two rules: 1) no more than 250 words, and 2) base it on the photo prompt.
I looked at that photo and thought, that’s probably some well-known landmark in Scotland or Europe (certainly NOT the US) that I don’t recognize. I am so untraveled.
However, I have spent the better part of my week preparing for a funeral at the church where I work (my 2nd job). Plus I love musicals.
This is from “My Fair Lady” — and he’s getting ready for a wedding, not a funeral.
Hot Dogs and Marmalade 
Quite the twist with it being a funeral!
Thanks for supplying today’s earworm, Sally! 💞
Oops!
I was singing along there – didn’t see the end coming at all!
And then the sucker punch – the damage alcohol abuse can cause in families.
Nicely set up, Sally.
excellent depiction of the horror of addiction/alcoholism… the swings and the awful inevitably of very bad yet mundane behavior.
very effective story-telling
Jings and Crivvens, I knew every word (of the wretched song) before you wrote them!
A light-hearted telling that masks a much darker story, that of a man whose life is so alcohol-dependent that he misses his mother’s funeral.
Sad.
A tale that began in a light hearted way then suddenly came down to earth with a bump.
A great take.
Thanks, Keith
Jeez, Sally. Everyone is leaving such in-depth, psychological comments. Is it very shallow of me to say I thought your story was hilarious and leave it at that?
One of the best stories I’ve read this evening.
I’m so glad you enjoyed the story! It was meant to be light (with a sucker punch at the end)
What an entertaining way to bring the two mediums together. Excellent presentation!