I read somewhere the other day about the health benefits of coffee. Supposedly, coffee drinkers have lower incidences of everything from strokes to diabetes to dementia.  The dementia part caught my eye.  My mother has been (and still is) a die-hard coffee drinker.  Coffee doesn’t seem to have helped.

My mother used to tell me that it was part of her job as a floor nurse to make the coffee.  People liked her coffee, and always complimented her on it — and that was before she started drinking it.  She must have started drinking it before she got married though, because one of their wedding gifts was an electric percolating coffee pot.  This was eventually passed down to me when Mr. Coffee came to live in their kitchen.

I never really mastered the art of percolating coffee.  I think I always ground the beans too finely because there were often grounds in my coffee.  Plus the whole thing was a pain in the neck to clean.  There was the tube and the basket and the basket lid that I could throw in the dishwasher, but then I had to wash to rest by hand, carefully, because it was electric.  I’m not sure what finally became of it.  It may be in a box in the shed.  I have a hard time throwing things away.  But I digress…

Even though they had a coffee maker, my parents have always liked instant coffee.  I hope my father bought stock in Folgers because he has certainly invested a lot in that company otherwise.  Even today, if I brew a pot of coffee, I make instant for my mother.  At my sister’s house, where she has one of those K-cup coffee brewers and there are dozens of flavors to choose from, my sister makes instant for my mother.

“This coffee is so bitter,” she’ll say if you give her anything other than instant.

Coffee is one of the few things that my mother can still successfully make.  Sometimes I’ll arrive at the house and find 6 – 8 mugs sitting on the stove all with their one little spoonful of Folgers in them.  She is prepared. For the others.

The others are not unlike “The Others” from Lost, the television show.  These mysterious people are always lurking somewhere that I can’t see.  They move things around.  They tell my mother to do things.  They expect large meals.  And coffee.

The other day when I was there, my mother went to the kitchen to make coffee.  She got out two mugs, then turned and asked me if I wanted coffee.

“No, thanks,” I replied.

My father, who had also followed her into the kitchen, said, “And I don’t care for any coffee right now either.”

“Okay,” she answered, as she spooned Folgers into each of the mugs.

“Did you hear me, Elinor?  I said that I didn’t want coffee right now,” he repeated.

“Yes, I heard you,” she said, as she poured water into both mugs.

“Then who is that other cup of coffee for?” he asked.

“The others want coffee even if you don’t,” was her response.

I sighed.  I knew it was just another cup of coffee I might find in the cupboard or the refrigerator or the freezer or on the counter or on a table.  The others like to put their cups of coffee in strange places sometimes.

So, yeah, coffee is supposed to reduce the risk of dementia.

Just for fun, I did my own bit of “Google research” this morning.  Each of the search terms were put in quotations — because that’s about all the technical savvy I have when it comes to searching on the internet.  Here are the results:

“health benefits of coffee” yielded “About 117,000 results (0.12 seconds)”   Obviously a lot of people are talking about coffee these days.

“health benefits of marmalade” yielded “1 result (0.08 seconds)”  That one result looked remarkably spambottish, with just a whole bunch of random terms strung together.  I was lucky enough to hit one.  I’m guessing there may not be a lot of health benefits to marmalade.  I’m not going to tell my mother that.  She likes marmalade too much.

“health benefits of mud” yielded “About 7,470 results (0.14 seconds)”  This was meant to be my control, but I didn’t think about the fact that mud baths are quite in vogue, and apparently quite healthy.

“health benefits of brussel sprouts” yielded “About 5,770 results (0.18 seconds)”  I hate brussels sprouts and was hoping these would not come up healthy, but apparently they do have some health value.

“health benefits of broccoli” yielded “About 28,100 results (0.13 seconds)”  I love broccoli and was happy to see that it ranked higher than brussel sprouts.

I did one last search term before I ended my little exercise.  Now this one, I wish my mother had been aware of.  No results found for “health benefits of liver and onions” Apparently even spambots don’t like liver and onions.

Time for me to pour one more cup of coffee.  I need those health benefits.