One of the most precious lessons I have learned (and am still learning) from my mother’s Alzheimer’s is not to take things personally. I have such a tendency to do that! When people say or do little things, and sometimes big things, that are mean or hurtful, I dwell on them. With my mother, when she scolds or is angry, I just tell myself that it’s her illness talking.
The other day, I found myself doing it again — focusing on someone’s hurtful words and actions. The thing is, other people may not have an Alzheimer’s problem, but they have a human problem. We are all so painfully human. Just as I excuse my mother with her Alzheimer’s, I need to excuse others because they are just people.
Grace, grace, grace — so abundantly given to me, I should be able to share it.
There’s a porcupine within me
That bristles up at certain things
And I cannot quite control it
Or the turmoil that it brings.
When frightened, angry, hurt,
The little spears come into play,
And they prickle and they stab –
They make people move away.
Sometimes life is lonely,
With this porcupine inside.
Sometimes I don’t like me,
And I want to run and hide.
Why can’t I have a bunny
Hiding inside me?
With long soft ears and fluffy tail,
Huggable as can be.
Why can’t I have a puppy
Hiding there instead?
With wiggles, fun and energy –
A thing no one would dread.
But no, I have a porcupine
That I must learn to keep,
And the lessons that he teaches me
Are hard and sometimes deep.
But the lessons that I learn,
Painful though they be,
Help me to grow in grace, grace, grace –
And become a better me.